The One with the Thoughts of Frans

Of a Small Cut by a Knife Not Made for Stabbing

Yesterday, I was cutting slices of salami while eating lunch. In a move that wasn’t quite as smart as it seemed at the time, I lifted the salami and started cutting it in mid-air. Because the cutting wasn’t proceeding as swiftly as planned, I increased pressure on the sausage from both sides and somehow my thumb must have ended up in the cutting trajectory. A small drop of blood rears its head out of the cut, and that’s the end of it. That night, while listening to one of Wil Wheaton’s amusing podcasts, I felt my thumb throbbing a little and I decide to show it to her.

Hon, I cut myself with a bread knife—um, I mean a butter knife.
My wife
Leave it to you to cut yourself with a butter knife.
What are you talking about, they have sharp teeth and everything!
My wife
It’s got a rounded corner and is not actually sharp. Just because they are slightly serrated doesn’t mean that they’re meant for cutting, or that anybody but you could manage to cut themselves with it.
But–but–but, you could cut steaks with it too!
My wife
That’s what steak knives are for. Sharp knives have sharp points. Why do you think that knives made for stabbing people aren’t serrated?
So you’re saying that all of our kitchen knives are for stabbing people?
My wife
*softly slaps my chest* You’re such a dork!


  1. You totally failed at properly recording that convo, but the general gist is close enough, so I will let it be. Dweeb.

    November 7, 2009 @ 15:44Permalink

  2. Oy, I don’t have a photographic memory!

    November 7, 2009 @ 20:52Permalink

  3. You should have used a bread knife. Then your wife wouldn’t have mocked you but rushed you to the hospital. 😉

    November 8, 2009 @ 10:56Permalink

RSS feed for comments on this post· TrackBack URI

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.