The One with the Thoughts of Frans

String cheese

I thought this conversation about an American product called string cheese was quite amusing. As you can see I’m also experimenting a bit with a better way to display conversations, but my results are fairly unsatisfactory so far.

Frenzie: string_cheese.jpg
They’ve got some weird shit in the US.

Axonn: … heh.
Axonn: You know why it’s like that?
Axonn: I can explain.

Frenzie: It’s like that cuz they pushed it through some shape? 😛

Axonn: You see… the cow… or sheep… or wheverthefuck creature they milk… well… it sees the yank farmer… and has an immediate cheesing of the milk inside it (that is caused by fear of armed retaliation by the Bush government if not cooperating with the Food Obtaining Services For Fat Yanks). So the milk is transformed into cheese internally because the poor animal’s temperature grows. Even so, the terrified creature starts running around the farm with 2 up to 5 Yankers trying to get it. During the process, the creature (now guided by adrenaline and fear) reaches speeds up to 300 KM/h. In this moment, due to friction, it’s shape alters a bit, and liquid/semi-liquid stuff tends to be thrown out by the centrifuge force. In that moment, the creature shits the cheese into the said forms.
Axonn: It is still a mistery how the cheese (former milk) gets from the belly to the ass.

Frenzie: ROFLMAO

Axonn: Perhaps due to the great speed and fear, it can either tear holes through the creature’s belly, or simply travel through the available holes.

Frenzie: Dude, can I post this to my weblog or something, it’s hilarious XD

Axonn: At least that’s my theory to the thing.
Axonn: I might be wrong tho’………..
Axonn: But it’s pretty logical right?

Frenzie: Yeah, indeed it is! =D

Axonn: I mean, sure looks like shitted cheese.
Axonn: Oh, another explanation might be that the creatures refuse to cooperate with fake-capitalist would-be-nazi pigs and they end up in a fight where the Yank shuves his hand up the creature’s ass or mouth and pulls that shit out… hence, the form… like it’s obtained after 2 people fought over it. Or maybe they’re so greedy for that shit they *do* fight over it.
Axonn: Donno…
Axonn: ::- )

Frenzie: rofl

Axonn: Anyway, you have my blessing to post wherever… ::- )

Frenzie: rijpen-kaas.jpg
You mean it looked like this, but then they fought over it resulting in one big… string-thing.
Frenzie: That’s some Dutch cheese btw 😛

Axonn: Bingooooooo.
Axonn: Yes, Romanian cheese looks like that too.
Axonn: You see, we Europeans .. respect food… in a way.
Axonn: They LOVE food.
Axonn: And you know, love can get preeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty passional.
Axonn: We eat and digest our food.
Axonn: They DEVOUR.
Axonn: :;- D

Frenzie: Wait… you mean the shape is also related to other holes than the ass of the cow?

Axonn: Could be, could be.

Frenzie: Perhaps that’s why they’re so afraid of gays
Frenzie: they’re afraid the cheese ass-fuck monopoly will be broken!

Axonn: No no. The problem is that gays don’t give milk. Well, I did hear of a few US semen-cheese specialties *laugh*…
Axonn: That was sick.
Axonn: ::- D

Frenzie: >_>
Frenzie: <_<
Frenzie: >_>

5 Comments

  1. I think that’s a food I wouldn’t want to try.

    July 2, 2007 @ 13:50Permalink
    Frans

  2. Yummy Italian cheese

    Please follow the safety instructions when eating……

    July 2, 2007 @ 13:47Permalink
    Melantrys

  3. I like the theory; that sort cheese certainly tastes like shit so I support this theory!

    July 2, 2007 @ 17:06Permalink
    Tom

  4. Do you even know how to eat string cheese? You are supposed to peel it off in strings. Sort of like peeling a banana, except you keep peeling until you’ve eaten all of it. Generally, string cheese is eaten by children whose parents are too lazy to cut cheese for them. I’ve never had it, but I also don’t like cheese.

    July 2, 2007 @ 18:43Permalink
    Ethan

  5. We have that in the UK as well, called cheese strings. Not amazingly bad but not a patch on a good bit of Irish Gubbeen cheese, espesialy when you deep fry the cheese and have it with a port and canbury sauce. My god thats good food…. 😀

    July 2, 2007 @ 21:40Permalink
    Matt Oakes

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