The One with the Thoughts of Frans

How to look good as a plant 101

The sun was shining and the weather was lovely, so I went on a walk. There was a large number of birds and I saw a couple of hares running away. Spring is here and nature is alive once more. Therefore, if you are a plant, it’s important to look your best. You do want to attract as many mammals and other roaming animals as possible, don’t you? Otherwise, you may very well face extinction.

  1. A few Snowdrops.
    Snowdrops know how to do their thing while it’s still very cold. As usual they have proven their mastership over this part of the year and they were all over the place. There is nothing for you to learn here. It is worth noting, however, that the loveliest snowdrops inhabited our own trustworthy garden. Move over forest snowdrops. You have to live near stone to be truly interesting.
  2. Irises coming out.
    Alternatively, live in dark mud. Then, look fresh and green between all of the dead leaves and whatever else the mud consists off. Take an example from this yellow iris which is checking out the environment to see if winter has passed.
  3. Yellow crocuses in full glory.
    Hooray for crocuses. They kick ass. We planted this bunch a few years ago. I never realized it was so easy to create great looking photographs with these flowers. I used to enjoy crocus photographs at art exhibitions. I still think they are very nice, but now I will no longer respect the artist in the same way. Unless I have some kind of unnatural talent for photographing crocuses, it’s just too easy to create nice pictures like this. Anyway, if you’re a crocus you’re settled. Just make sure not to grow in places where you’re easily stepped upon.
  4. A boring trunk.
    Nature is always moving on, changing the old into new. Half-rotten trees always look neat for some reason. Be sure to have an agreement with some grass if you’re a tree. It will make your dead body look much better. If you’re grass there’s also much to win. You will look much greener next to this dark, rotting, former giant.


  1. […] Some other crocuses than last time had emerged in the meantime. […]

    March 31, 2006 @ 20:31Permalink
    What happens in a week? | The One with the Thoughts of Frans

  2. lol, this is a goofy post.

    Also, you said “[…]so easy to create great looking photographs with these flowers so easily,” dork.

    January 13, 2010 @ 19:38Permalink

  3. I updated the markup to take advantage of the new semantics and style I created for my 2010 New Year’s pictures. I intend to do the same for my other photography posts, meanwhile perhaps altering some minor other issues here and there. In this entry I typod “loveliest” as “loviest” but I missed the double easy.

    January 14, 2010 @ 0:22Permalink

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