The One with the Thoughts of Frans

…unless you don’t like the Simpsons. Now in real life.

Via Sushubh.

The sun was shining and the weather was lovely, so I went on a walk. There was a large number of birds and I saw a couple of hares running away. Spring is here and nature is alive once more. Therefore, if you are a plant, it’s important to look your best. You do want to attract as many mammals and other roaming animals as possible, don’t you? Otherwise, you may very well face extinction.

1. 
   Snowdrops know how to do their thing while it’s still very cold. As usual they have proven their mastership over this part of the year and they were all over the place. There is nothing for you to learn here. It is worth noting, however, that the loveliest snowdrops inhabited our own trustworthy garden. Move over forest snowdrops. You have to live near stone to be truly interesting.
2. 
   Alternatively, live in dark mud. Then, look fresh and green between all of the dead leaves and whatever else the mud consists off. Take an example from this yellow iris which is checking out the environment to see if winter has passed.
3. 
   Hooray for crocuses. They kick ass. We planted this bunch a few years ago. I never realized it was so easy to create great looking photographs with these flowers. I used to enjoy crocus photographs at art exhibitions. I still think they are very nice, but now I will no longer respect the artist in the same way. Unless I have some kind of unnatural talent for photographing crocuses, it’s just too easy to create nice pictures like this. Anyway, if you’re a crocus you’re settled. Just make sure not to grow in places where you’re easily stepped upon.
4. 
   Nature is always moving on, changing the old into new. Half-rotten trees always look neat for some reason. Be sure to have an agreement with some grass if you’re a tree. It will make your dead body look much better. If you’re grass there’s also much to win. You will look much greener next to this dark, rotting, former giant.

Today we all got a “Netherlands against terrorism” brochure in the mailbox. I would just like to point out how incredibly “useful” it is.

Most interesting of all, it contains a list explaining certain words at the back.

• Terrorisme (terrorism)
• Infiltreren (to infiltrate)
• De Nationaal Coördinator Terrorismebestrijding (NCTb, national coordinator terrorism-prevalence)
• Radicalisering (radicalising)
• Propaganda (propaganda)
• Het Alerteringssysteem Terrorismebestrijding (alert system terrorism-fighting)
• Samenspannen (conspire)
• Innovaties (innovations)
• Forensisch onderzoek (forensic research)

As you can see those are all words no human being has ever heard before, if you don’t count that most of them occur in the paper, on television, on the radio and on the internet daily. Except one, perhaps. The ugliest one of them all. The “alerteringssysteem”. My first thought on the word was “what goddamn idiot/anglofile used that instead of waarschuwingssysteem”. And then on to the description: “a alerteringssysteem is a waarschuwingssysteem”. Call the thing what it is.

Anyway, besides for that horrible word the whole brochure is made for 2 years olds with a mental-handicap. If it was made the way I presume it was – in a coffeeshop with a good joint – then I forgive them. Otherwise someone has to be convicted. 😛

I’m not mad, I have an intelligent cactus.

Damn, everything feels like a gigantic workload today while I really don’t have that much to do. Better luck tomorrow I guess.

I watched all episodes of Coupling now and it’s a series I can fully recommend to anyone.

Also I’m stupid because Monday there was no Mechanics of Materials college, but today for some reason I slept through my alarm (meaning snoozing and then sleeping another two hours). I went to bed as early as 22:30 for God’s sake, how can I sleep until 9:25?!?!? And I don’t even feel awake, I feel damn tired, probably because I had too much sleep or something.

On top of that there’s wet snow right now, which sucks. Give me either snow or no snow, not the fake cheapshot stuff.