You can simply go into a directory, run a command like the following, and everything will be done automatically for you.

jhead -autorot *.JPG

Of course I wouldn’t run it if you don’t have a backup available. I always keep the pictures around on my camera until I’ve confirmed that all processing was successful and then I still don’t delete them until the adjusted files were also copied to my external HDD in my semi-regular backup regime.

Another utility that can perform the same task is exiftran, but despite being more or less dedicated to this very purpose it’s not even easier to use: I’d expect exiftran *.JPG to default to the equivalent of the jhead -autorot *.JPG command I posted above, but instead you have to use exiftran -ai *.JPG. All other things being equal for my purposes, I decided to go with jhead because it has many more features — although last year I decided that exiv2 is superior to jhead in ease of use for most of those features.

If you’re just looking for the occasional lossless rotation, you could also try the Geeqie image viewer and manager. It integrates calls to exiftran, but beware that you explicitly have to choose the lossless option, as there are also lossy rotate options.

The first pancake that managed to attract my attention was an evil cat.

This pancake also happened to be on the plate while taking a picture of the evil cat one, so I figured I’d demonstrate that I do indeed see something in just about anything.

Note, these are animated SVG images. At the time of writing they only render correctly in Opera and Webkit browsers, whereas Gecko displays a static image. Internet Explorer is served with fallback PNGs.

The SVGs now also render correctly in Firefox 4.

We discovered this issue a couple of weeks ago when my wife’s printer ran out of ink. She’s got an HP PSC 2355 All-in-One Printer, which, while not super expensive, she certainly wasn’t going to leave in the US. At Saturn (where ink is slightly cheaper than at Mediamarkt even though they’re owned by the same corporation) she selected some ink cartridges and we thought that would be the end of the ink shortage. The ink cartridges had the exact printer model in the list of compatible printers on the package, but after inserting the cartridges in the printer it displayed the joyful message that an “Incorrect Print Cartridge” had been inserted.

It’s especially lovely how all of the official HP support pages claim that something has probably inexplicably gone awry with the cartridge itself and, summarized, that it really couldn’t have anything to do with the printer. While keeping the possibility in mind, we didn’t consider this scenario very likely, however.

Alternative search results seemed to point to some obscure error and upon running the patch for this error, the patching software said there was nothing to patch. That was a waste of time and effort.

Somehow that wasted effort did make me realize that perhaps I should try a broader Internet search while including things like “US to Europe” in the search string. This quickly yielded plenty of results. One commenter said that “after 3 phone calls and 4 emails” he “learned that all HP printers sold after 2004 are regionalised.”

So my wife went on the HP support chat and after 45 minutes to 1 hour of exchanging all kinds of codes and diving into hidden configuration screens (something rather silly that reminds more of an easter egg than of a serious feature) the region of the printer was changed. It’s now working properly in Europe. Beware, however, if you’re a business person staying in various continents who wants to take their printer along. Aside from the considerable effort involved, there are only 2 region changes left now.

Whenever my current Epson printer or my wife’s HP printer is ready for replacement I will most certainly try to buy one that doesn’t have such ridiculous anti-features. Therefore I was trying to find out if other printer manufacturers also region-encode their ink cartridges; I couldn’t find anything (though I didn’t search for very long), but I did run into this gem, as a reply to someone asking whether their American Epson printer would work in Japan.

I’ve never heard of region coding for ink cartridges.

Such sweet, blissful innocence.

While HP was already on my avoid list due to their abhorrent tech support regarding the lousy computer they sold to my parents. It turned out that the SATA controller to which the HDD was connected had somehow become defective. Figuring this out took me about 5 minutes; they took several weeks and they still couldn’t find anything wrong with it. But the story behind that is worthy of a separate blog post. Suffice it to say that I will not be buying any computers, printers, scanners or anything else from HP anymore. Lousy support is one thing, but if I wanted to have acts of coitus performed on me if I happen to move outside of some so-called region I’d rather pay money to a hooker.

P.S. By the way, Microsoft, this is why I use Ubuntu now instead of software that does all kinds of ridiculous things that I don’t want it to do. This has already been extensively covered by other people, so I certainly won’t waste my time doing any such thing.

As always, in Ubuntu it’s a piece of cake with sudo apt-get install exiv2.

Adjusting Exif Date/Time

With exiv2, exiv2 ad -a [-]HH[:MM[:SS]] file does the job.

For example, my camera was still on DST when I shot my new year’s fireworks pictures, which made them appear as if they were shot at 1 AM. Thus, I ran the command exiv2 ad -a -1 *.JPG to fix it.

Using a Command File

I use a file named exif-copyright-2010.txt (and another one for 2009 etc.) with just two lines in it, which I apply instantly when grabbing pictures from my camera. This file contains the following lines.

add Exif.Image.Artist	Ascii	"My name"
add Exif.Image.Copyright	Ascii	"Copyright © 2010 My name"

This can be applied using exiv2 -m /somewhere/exif-copyright-2010.txt file. I used to mess about with batch processing in graphical applications — which worked fine — but this is much faster.

Read More

You can read more about all of this on the official website.

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I think the most important thing we just observed is that if you want to take nice pictures of fireworks, you should probably not stand upwind — although considering the distance involved that would have taken almost as long as the fireworks lasted (about 20 minutes). I did zoom in quite a bit. On the other hand, you’ll miss some or most of the smell of gunpowder if you do that, which is an important part of the watching experience, after all.

Happy new year!

As you might have read, a couple of days ago I received the Deaf Dumb Blind and Use Your Brain reissues. So now I will be reviewing Use Your Brain, Clawfinger‘s second album; once again by going through my favorite tracks. [Once again, I added links to YouTube.]

• Use Your Brain
  1. Power (3:14)
  2. Pay The Bill (4:10)
  3. Pin Me Down (4:10)
  4. Wipe My Ass (3:13)
  5. Die High (2:34)
  6. It (5:21)
  7. Do What I Say (4:25)
  8. Undone (4:11)
  9. What Are You Afraid Of (3:47)
  10. Back to the Basics (2:27)
  11. Easy Way Out (2:39)
  12. Tomorrow (4:09)
  13. Better Than This * (3:36)
  14. Three Good Riffs * (3:56)
  15. Armageddon Down * (3:36)

* Bonus Track + Videos:
Pin Me Down, Do What I Say, Tomorrow

The second song of the album is Pay The Bill. The lyrics are sharp on the topic of what certain people think and say, but it’s the guitar (and drum stuff) which really gets the party started. [Sharp…on the topic? Say what? I suppose I meant to add a conjunction, i.e. The lyrics are sharp, and address what certain people think and say … Perhaps I should have specified "certain people" a bit more precisely, since I'm not sure which "certain people" I was referring to anymore.] It inhabits a couple of my most favorite style of powerful chords combined with powerful rap. [I didn't use to be aware that a couple is meant more literally in English than in Dutch; I should have said a few. Inhabit doesn't seem like the right verb to choose here, either.]

Pin Me Down, the third track, is of a different class. If you’re still unsure whether combining ‘metal’ with rap is a good idea, listen to this. I can’t say much more about it than that this is just what Clawfinger is. [Seriously, was I on crack!? Did the pot my neighbors smoked affect me? This is just what it is, man! You know, what it is!! It is, man!]

Do What I Say, the seventh track has a really interesting start. [Nice to meet you again, Mr Fanboy.] A kid starts off by singing: When I grow up, there will be a day when everybody has to do what I say. Then the metal guitars bash in [I don't think you can bash something in. Maybe the guitars bash the poor child away? That doesn't seem to convey the intended meaning either, though. Let's just stick with "The guitars come in."] and Zak starts singing like he’s the father, telling the kid to do what he says. [I bet you didn't see that coming!] When I didn’t know Clawfinger very long, this was probably my favorite song. [I think I was obsessed with songs featuring children's voices at the time, since Eminem's My Dad's Gone Crazy was also among my favorites.] The coolest part of the song is probably even when the kid starts rocking too. [It looks like I was indeed on crack. I clearly wanted to write The coolest part of the song is probably even cooler than the rest of the song, and I barely managed to save myself from complete and utter embarrassment by changing it to tell people when the song is "coolest." Bet you didn't count on me analyzing your words in ridiculous ways when you wrote that, sucker!] I’ve introduced Clawfinger to my friends and this one, Nothing Going On and Vienna were probably the most successful.

What Are You Afraid Of (track 9) is a great song about stupid politicians and the crap they say. [Fuck yeah! Um—I mean, I was on crack, man!] Actually the whole album is pretty much politics related and some of the stuff in this song is just so damn cool. [Sorry, I got ahead of myself there. I was on crack, man!] But anyway, I think that if you don’t like this song, there’s some chance you don’t like Clawfinger at all. [Indeed there is. Any more insights, Captain Obvious?]

The bonus tracks on this album are good, but for me they don’t match a song like Profit Preacher. [Same here—wait, what?] Three Good Riffs is probably the coolest bonus track [I need to stop using the word coolest, don't I? Hopefully, I have since stopped using it this excessively. ], although it’s not really good in the sense of… well, good. [Pothead!] Anyway, Zak on two of them: [Yup, right on top of them.]

Three good riffs is a simple lyric about all the cliches in this great industry of rock & roll, we’re all contributing to it whether we like it or not & the more serious we try and be as artists the closer we come to being pathetic…but hell I’ll gladly treat people to that!

Armageddon down ha ha what is there to say, it’s just a pisstake on religion of all sorts and a play with words for the sake of being annoying and having a bit of fun, Armageddon down obviously means that everyone should get up on the dance floor and shake their booties, don’t really know what else to say about it?

The bottom line: if you liked Deaf Dumb Blind, this is a must buy. If you came into Clawfinger by means of the newer albums, it is something you have to check out. It’s the last of the classic Clawfinger albums. [Ouch!]

Yesterday, I received my reissues of “Deaf Dumb Blind” (1993) and “Use Your Brain” (1995): two classic, quintessential Clawfinger albums. In addition to the original tracks, they both feature three bonus tracks and the video clips of the released singles of the original CD in SVCD quality. Let me go through both of the albums by my favorite songs. [Use Your Brain will be reviewed in a later post: no, that's not because I split this post in two for this special occasion or some such.] My less favorite songs are a little less good, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad. But you’ll probably have to be more of a fan to appreciate them. [I added links to YouTube so you can actually listen to the songs.]

• Deaf Dumb Blind
  1. Nigger (3:47)
  2. The Truth (4:12)
  3. Rosegrove (4:02)
  4. Don’t Get Me Wrong (3:12)
  5. I Need You (4:58)
  6. Catch Me (4:39)
  7. Warfair (3:48)
  8. Wonderful World (2:40)
  9. Sad to See Your Sorrow (5:18)
  10. I Don’t Care (3:11)
  11. Get it* (4:43)
  12. Profit Preacher * (5:55)
  13. Stars & Stripes * (3:52)

* Bonus Track + Videos:
Nigger, The Truth, Warfair

The first track of Deaf Dumb Blind is Nigger. Nigger is a song which immediately steps out of the gray of bad songs out there because of the power it contains. [I understand what I was trying to say here, but steps out of the gray of bad songs? The gray what?] Some people might think it’s a racist song when they first hear it, but it is all but that. [I've all but finished this book, and it was anything but boring.] It is to be said that the chorus (repeating the word nigger a couple of times) is very easy to catch up with and some stupid racists might even like to sing along with it(!) Luckily that was all but the intention behind the song.

I would consider “Rosegrove”, the third song, sort of a ballad, although it doesn’t really sound like one, neither in lyrics nor in melody. It’s one of the more melodic sounds on the album and one of my favorite on the album. [Boy, I can sure eloquently express myself about one of my favorite songs on the album! Maybe you should have tried it in Dutch, just 19-year old self.]

Track 5 is “I need you”. It’s quite easy to play really, but it sounds just great and I did once meet a bitch this song perfectly applied to. [I did? I rather doubt that. Teenagers, eh?] So when you are in a sort of love/hate mood situation problem thing, just put this up loud. Very very loud. [I can't comment on that (anymore?), but it is nice while working out.]

“Catch me,” the sixth track of the album, is one of the more interesting songs lyrical wise [I think you mean lyrically.] (and considering the general level of Clawfinger lyrics, that means a lot [Fanboy much?]). When I listen to one of my current favorite songs (Horse With No Name by America), I can almost imagine being in one by listening to the music. [One what? A desert? Are you talking about a freaking desert?] My personal fantasy is quite alright and I have no problem imaging deserts [No trouble imagining the vastness, at any rate. You don't quite comprehend just how hot they are. And no, I still don't.], but that song captures the spirit and puts you in one if you listen, disregarding your own imagination. [Are you on crack!?] The same applies to “Catch me”: it’s like Metallica’s “Fade to black” on steroids. [Whatever you say.] It just seems to come from deeper within, or maybe Zak, Clawfinger’s vocalist and lyrics writer, is just more on one line of thoughts with me, I don’t know. Zak said the following on the song:

Well Catch me is pretty much a direct translation from a Swedish punk song which I wrote an additional third verse for so the idea was already there! In other words it’s not a personal song even if there have been times when I have felt those feelings!

My other favorite song on the album is one of the bonus tracks, “Profit Preacher”. I will just quote Zak on the bonus tracks.

Profit preacher is about the American TV evangelists who preach faith, love & beauty, the more money you give them, the more blessed you will be! Obviously they are vultures profiting on peoples need for something or someone to believe in! I got the idea from Frank Zappa who has made a few songs on the same topic!

Stars & stripes, damn I hardly even remember the fucking song, I guess it was just an excuse to throw some shit at the United States for how they choose to angle their news reports and sedate their people into believing they are being told the truth! I’ll read it sometime soon and get back to you with a more detailed answer!

In conclusion, despite this being their debut album and the Clawz having so much less experience than they have now, this album will still rock your house away. [Rock your house away? Whatever it will rock, it will most certainly not do that. Then again, I was probably just making up something as random as rock your socks off. Perhaps that's a better way to finish this entry. "Deaf Dumb Blind" will not merely rock your socks off, it will rock your fucking house away!]

I never posted Space Dino on this weblog, so I figured I should remedy that. After all, it’s the best place to collect some of my thoughts and creations in one place. I also have all of my image files backed up on several hard disks, but that’s almost entirely without context.

This context already gave me a pleasant surprise. As it turns out, I’ve always liked the idea of creatures wearing some kind of space or diving gear. I completely forgot about the fish walking the land I drew over three years ago, but I just ran into it when I was looking through the Drawing category on this very site.

To accompany the “official” release of this drawing, I wrote a little introductory poem. I wanted to experiment with meter, so I started out with a four line iambic pentameter with an abab rhyme scheme. However, that turned out as boring as 12th century poetry. After some revamping, I ended up with something that hopefully isn’t half as bad. So without further ado, I give you the Space Dino poem, which explains the origin of space dinos.

They left their blissful past with ancient earth;
Barely escaped disaster to survive
in outer space; they gave birth
to the space-age dinokind.

Just to annoy you with technicalities, I decided to include a version with the stresses clearly marked.

They left | their bliss | ful past | with an | cient earth;
Barely | escaped | disa | ster to | survive
in ou | ter space; | they gave birth
to the space- | age di | nokind.

I should probably mention that this post was inspired by one of Wil Wheaton’s rants about being creative with barely any risk. If anyone wants to obtain a copy of this shirt, I guess they should banter me by mail or in the comments to this entry. I guess I could always open the PrintFection store again, but since I would want a buck or two of the profits—that’s only fair, right?—and they only hand out American commission checks as far as I can tell, I don’t even know if I could even do anything with that over here.

All of that was about a month ago. I’ve only got a small selection of feeds in there so far, but since I’m still catching up on literally months of old material, that’s not an issue as of now. Aside from Wil Wheaton’s, my favorite podcast right now is Stuff You Should Know. But enough about that.

When I was younger, I usually listened to the radio news at 7 or 8 AM while eating breakfast. I have long since switched to doing some quick reading of my e-mails and feeds, but that’s not the ideal way to get a quick update on what’s currently going on. The radio news does a better job of that, but it just feels too much like a waste of time. Cue the podcast. I’ve known that Dutch public radio has had its broadcasts available as podcasts since 2005 or so. Selecting the podcast most relevant to me was easy: Radio Netherlands Worldwide, specifically the Nieuwslijn (news line) program. Of course there are competitors, such as BBC’s Global News and the German ARD Tagesschau, and I may have missed some other potentially interesting sources—which would presumably mostly mean American or Flemish—, but for now I’m sticking with this. Alas, there’s one small problem: there’s a news broadcast just about each two hours. This makes the new episodes available dialog look rather cluttered. I only want to listen to the news once a day.

New episodes available in gPodder

That’s where Yahoo Pipes comes in. When I start it, it complains about Opera, but I haven’t been able to discern any difference in functionality between Opera and Firefox on the site. In only a couple of minutes, I have something that only gives me the 8 o’clock news.

If I wanted, I could easily add the BBC and ARD feeds and also strip them to just one item a day. What I can’t do, however, is output the de facto standard <itunes:image href="http://some-picture" /> with the feed. Nevertheless, I can manually link up a picture in gPodder so it doesn’t look strange in the feed display list.

For things more complicated than such simplistic mash-ups, Yahoo Pipe’s graphical programming interface quickly becomes lacking, which is strange considering that it seems to aspire to be more than just a simple mash-up tool. Nevertheless, it certainly makes life a little easier.

It’s a drawing of a female face with a brush which was too fat and such, but I am still kind of interested in what I could do with it without actually redrawing it.

stoned_smilie.svg

angry_smilie.svg

Not much later, when I linked someone else who had seen both of those images to a painting by Rembrandt van Rijn of Europa, she said she was looking for my fishy in it. So I decided to take the initiative and I made a quick manipulation of the picture.

Then I suddenly realised it could work quite well as a meme. In case you’re interested, I saved what I used in the painting as a transparent PNG. So if you’re interested in making my fishy into a meme, I doubt it could get any easier.

I scanned some of the images I liked best.

1. “In foreign countries, traditions completely unknown in The Netherlands persisted. In France there was a duel between two members of the chamber in 1902, while in German fraternities ‘Mensur’ still existed, where the goal was to hurt each other so he’d bleed, preferably in the face.”
2. “The airforce was a new weapon, which enabled previously unthought of possibilities for bombing of important targets.”
3. “Science continued, despite the international uproar. In 1915 Shackleton researched the South-pole area, while his ship, the ‘endurance’ was cracked by ice. The discovery of the grave of Tut-ankh-amon in 1926 was remarkable.”
4. “On the side of the government [of Spain] women actively participated in battle, while numerous volunteers joined forces both for and against the republican government.”
5. “Of the heart of the prosperous harbor-city of Rotterdam, only wasteland remains.”
6. “Like master… like servant. In Europe the Führer makes himself popular, so the Leider [Dutch for leader, German pawn government] faithfully follows his example.”
7. “Death by famine and exhaustion is the fate of many. But the worst will only appear later…“
8. “The price of freedom. The American war-churchyard Margraten in Limburg.”
9. “The creation of the state of Israel on 15 May 1948 brought happiness to the Jewish people who finally found a mother country after all those centuries of wandering. On the first meeting of the world council of chuches, 4 September 1948 in Amsterdam, it was created as permanent contact-point for all Christians. The Catholic Church and the Orthodox Russian church were not present.”
10. “Because of the advancing communist troops in China, the waterways in Shanghai had to harbour uncountable amounts of sampans. In The Netherlands all attention was concentrated on the developments in Indonesia, which led to the round-table conference.”
11. “At the beginning of the century Europe dominated the world. Now the power swifted to the hands of the United States of America and the Soviet Union. Will their decisions decide the future of our continent?”

The first track, Take a Bow, starts of as a classic Muse song, but then somewhere along the way the electronics kick in. While it starts promising, there is never a sort of climax and the song doesn’t stick to my head like with Apocalypse Please on Absolution.

The second track, Starlight, sounds a bit on the poppy side. The vocals never get truly interesting. Overall an enjoyable song, but no feeling of euphoria just yet.

The third track is Supermassive Black Hole, the first single. You might have heard it already. While I do like it, I noticed that it works far better as background music (to put up loud while doing the last Grand Prix in Burnout 2) than as actual listening to music, if you get what I mean. However I did notice that I put this track up more often.

The fourth track, Map of the Problematique, is different. It does sound a bit poppy, but contrary to the former tracks it doesn’t feel forced on Muse’s generic style. Perhaps I just got more used to it by now? Regardless of that however, it’s possibly the best track on the album. Later on in the track they go even more all out with the electronics and that’s good.

The fifth track, A Soldier’s Poem, is just some kind of intermezzo in a more classic style.

The sixth track, Invincible, doesn’t sound very good at all in my opinion. I suppose it sounds a bit like Absolution, but then… well, less interesting and on top of that not very new of course.

The seventh track, Assassin, was pretty good. It was almost metal-like at times, but the vocals were generic.

The eight track, Exo Politics I liked a lot on first listen. A catchy guitar riff to start off with, getting better and better towards the end. After listening it a few more times my opinion stands, however I now think it starts off fairly boring and repetitive.

The ninth track, City of Delusion, I really like.,It’s something really different and possibly therefore cool, but it just sounds good on all fronts.

The tenth track, Hoodoo, sort of continues the previous track (in feeling only) and therefore even the quite measly 3:42 seem too long for it.

The eleventh and last track of the album, Knights of Cydonia, is very nice and bombastic. The vocals sound Yes-like here, which is definitely not a negative thing.

In conclusion, I think that overall I’m slightly disappointed. But you should realise that when your expectations are high, it’s easy to be disappointed. I certainly welcome the change in style. Perhaps it is a forebode that if Muse decides to go further down this route, they will produce an absolute masterpiece in the future?

If you ask why she lives in a mythical place, I just ask you, can a place which is abbreviated to the sound a barking dog makes be real?

But enough of the chit-chat. On to the toy itself. It is blue. It is flexible. In a strange way it feels alive.

If you hold it in your hand you can caress it. Or you can throw it around like a ball. Do whatever you like.

You can squeeze it and then it will emit different psychedelic colours of light.

In short, it rocks. Thanks babe!

1. 
   
   I had never seen a submarine in the wild before. Only in harbors.

Much later, in a bus, only a few away minutes from my place, I got a phonecall. Instead of the expected four people joining dinner, I would have to cook for eight. My phone was scared to death after hearing that, but luckily giving it an electricity boost when I arrived made its heart beat again.

Our olive oil was all gone, so I did what I’d always do: use butter. However, my dear visitor happened to be a vegan. Mel only managed to stop me from throwing the rest of the vegan stuff in butter just in time, and the neighbors gently lent us some olive oil. Loes (my housemate) just told me that she discovered we also had some vegetable cooking butter. That night we watched Artificial Intelligence, which is not a movie I can recommend. Especially the ending was bad.

1. 
   
   The next day we had to leave early. Too early. Three and a half hours later, when we arrived at Julien’s place (our host for the night), someone didn’t react very friendly to me taking a picture as you can see.
2. 
   
   An interesting table-decoration at Julien’s place was this evil moon thing.
3. 
   
   We arrived at the venue a little while later. The Claws were just arriving around the same time. In the garden of the Botanique there were these guys preparing some kind of tent, probably for an event the next day or week. I found them amusing for some reason.
4. 
   
   This cigarette represents one of my main impressions of Brussels. A damn lot of smokers.
5. 
   
   When we were walking back from the park we ran across a few weird guys looking for Manneken Pis. We didn’t actually encounter the little guy, but we did manage to take a few pictures of the weird guys checking out interesting accessoires.
6. 
   
   A front view should make clear that the weird guys were part of this band which goes by the name of Clawfinger. One minute later I made a movie of him saying tandenborstel, Dutch for toothbrush. Later on he also got us on the guestlist. Thumbs up.
   
7. 
   
   Later that night, after the first band finished playing (featuring the man where we’d spend the night), I decided to take a picture of this sign. It’s funny because it says there’s some kind of non-smoking law since ‘91, but like 90% of the people were smoking inside (remember my earlier impression).
8. 
   
   I also took this picture to prove that I had “BASE” as a mobile phone provider in Belgium, which I thought sounded much more awesome than the Proteus (or something like that)Proximus which Mel had.
9. 
   
   And then some sound reached our ears.
10. 
    
    Check the crazy guy in the background of the picture.
11. 
    
    My camera kicks the ass of yours mate.
12. 
    
    André doing his thing.
13. 
    
    “I’ve got a personal trainer” (from Nothing Going On). Mel made a video of this, although it’s actually of the event right before it, Bård doing the duck walk.
    
14. 
    
    And some more guitar action.
15. 
    
    I thought I’d take a shot of the guys in the background, but the ones I made of Henka managed to fail.
16. Now just for some pictures.
17. 
18. 
19. 

And that’s it for today.

1 – How does the world see me?
Song: David Bowie – (Segue) “Ramona A. Stone / I am with Name
Comment: I am with Name? Too bad I don’t know whom I’m with then.

2 – Will I have a happy life?
Song: Korn – Here to Stay
Comments: I’m here to stay? That’s nice to know, but it seems to answer the question “will I have a long life?”

3 – What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Eminem – R.A.K.I.M – Rakim
Comments: They think I’m some ancient rapper? Hmm… interesting, I thought they saw me more as a somewhat metallish person.

4 – Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: The Dandy Warhols – The Coffee And Ten Wrecks
Comments: I guess not then.

5 – How can I make myself happy?
Song: Korn – Justin
Comments: I guess this means I’ll have to take off in space as the lyrics suggest.

6 – What should I do with my life?
Song: No Doubt – End it on this
Comments: That doesn’t sound too good.

7 – Why should life be full of so much pain?
Song: Radiohead – Creep
Comments: I’m a creep. Oh crap. Ah well, too bad. *headbangs on heavy guitar part*

8 – How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: Tenacious D – Friendship Test
Comments: Do a friendship test during sex? Hmm… kinky… NOT.

9 – Will I ever have children?
Song: Rage Against the Machine – Freedom
Comments: I will have freedom. So I might just leave my kids behind and be an asshole or choose not to have them at all. That sucks in a way.

10 – Will I die happy?
Song: Dr. Dre – Nuthin’ but a “G” thang
Comments: Doesn’t sound like it.

11 – What is some good advice for me?
Song: Samael – Telepathic
Comments: Yeah, reading other people’s thoughts would always be a good idea I guess.

12 – What is happiness?
Song: Anouk – Who Cares
Comment: Indeed, who cares what happiness is?

13 – What is my favorite fetish?
Song: Robbie Williams – Tripping
Comments: Oh yeah baby… tripping is shaggadelic!

14 – How will I be remembered?
Song: Die Fantatischen Vier – Bring it Back
Comment: Hell yeah, they’ll want me back.

Well, that was that… sadly the answers weren’t very funny for the most of it.